Hi there. I haven't been here in a while. Some of you may remember my story. For those of you who dont, basically, as with most of us, i was mentally and physically abused as a child, grew up, had children of my own, and trying to stop the cycle. Got married in 97 to Jason. In 05 I was pregnant with our 4th child, he decides to leave me and go to the army. The place he left us in was in terrible shape and he would not fix it. There was no air conditioning, it was terribly hot, rats in the walls (HUGE ONES) they were in the ducts..you could hear them chewing, chewing, chewing all night long. I awoke one morning and found that they had chewed a hole in the wall in my 3 year olds room. OMG!!!!! These rats were about a foot and a half long (not counting the tail) they could have attacked my daughter. Needless to say I freaked out. I did what I could...poison, boards, whatnot..all the while Jason was gone and while he was in the barracks in training he was partying and drinking while I was going through this. He missed the birth of our last son and I hemmoraged and almost died and the baby was in icu for 2 days because he was early and our blood types were not compatible. I was all alone.......
Now the problem is this......I had repressed ( i guess thats the word) the memory of the rats. My husband has been trying to listen to me lately for some unknown reason and since we have been talking i guess i have been letting things come out. plus the past 2 days I have been having nightmares about them just out of the blue. I thought i heard one coming out of the wall today but he said it wasn't there. My therapist says i have created an alter ego to deal with stuff thats why i forgot everything. Does this mean my alter ego is going away???
I am confused.