Pink,

Great poem, go for the couch. In fact, here are the instructions:

Walk in door behind T. Push him out of the way and head straight for the couch. Lie down and begin talking about last night's dinner before he has even had a chance to brush himself off and sit down.
(Be certain your head is not facing him when you lie down.)

I want to hit the couch at T's but it hasn't even ever been offered, and I will NOT be the first to bring it up.

Good luck.