I opened my package (finally) and it was the book I wanted!!! Ex-T gave me her book! Her favorite book which she said she would never give away. It's mine. I now have a piece of her. I'm so happy!

But it is also bittersweet. I would sacrifice the book to have a relationship with her again. I still am angry at her for putting me through this. And now I'm confused. She gave up something invaluable to me. That has to show she really does care, probably does love me. But then why can't I have contact? It makes me sad and still wondering why...

But, back on a happy note... I saw my Pdoc today (the one who went on maternity leave for 5 months). I updated her on all that has happened. It went really well. She wasn't mad at me for anything with my ex-T, she wasn't disappointed that I SI'ed, she was proud of me for completing the DBT group, and she was proud of me for finding another T. And she said it's okay that I still remain her client!!! So I officially have my Pdoc back!

Now for therapy in a few hours which should be good. And then off to dinner with my family. Pretty good day, I think.

Oh, one more thing... I Got My Book!!!