Do you feel that if you go away for a while, from here or from almost anywhere, you'll be forgotten? Erased even? And you'll never be able to go back? I do. And it hurts.

And if a friend vanishes for a while do you always blame yourself? Do you panic and think they've probably gone for good and changed their mind about you overnight? Even if you can't think of anything you might have done wrong, or to irritate them, or what might have happened? I find the closer I feel to someone the more this is likely to happen and the harder I have to work not to "mess up" in some way.