I wouldn't say you're making a big deal out of it Art. I would say it is a very big deal. You're setting this kid up for life remember?
I got off the phone with my own mother the other day terribly upset - I had been telling her about meeting a potential new friend and she essentially told me not to mess it up by acting like myself. Except she managed to say it in a way that made her sound like she was just giving me good advice and telling me to remember my manners.
No way in hell would my mother have wanted to buy me a better guitar so I could improve my skills as a teen. I would have been tacitly 'told' that I wasn't ever going to be a serious musician anyway so I didn't need it and she needed to save money for my education. Actually, something very similar did happen - I considered studying music in college (I played classical piano from the time I was 7 til my Leaving Cert year) and applied, but when I got the information about going for the audition my mother told me that I didn't want to do that anyway.
My mother set me up for a life of feeling like I was a weirdo, socially incapable, as well as stingy and selfish, for being like my father's family in personality. I was taught that I didn't know what was best for me - that I had to look outside of myself for that. I was set up for abusive relationships because I believed that I was so odd and clueless that no one decent would ever want me. Funny thing is, my father's family, while quiet and reserved in general are, if anything, the polar opposite of socially clueless...

That turned into a rant... But you see my point?