((((((((((((((((((Moonkin))))))))))))))))))))
Hey, you... I'm so sorry you're going through so much hurt, and have been for so long. Still, the fact that you said, "I'm gonna keep fighting... and keeping TRYING to be confident" tells me that, so long as you always come back to that attitude, YOU WILL BE ALL RIGHT!!! It makes me so happy to hear you say that, it really, truly does.

I'm going to my first T in a couple of days, and I'm pretty scared myself. I can see why you are, too--it's like, "this is number four, if THIS doesn't help, am I doomed to this forever?" I can't give you an answer, but give this therapist a chance, even if you don't show her your poetry. If you never try you never know, right?

I'm going on seventeen too, and you have all my sympathy. The age we're at is so freaking HARD--there's so much pressure on us each and every day, and honestly, I think you need to cut yourself some slack. you've been working so hard at "fixing" yourself for so long, and you're continuing even through setbacks. That's HUGE!! So give yourself a break every now and then.

I know this wasn't very helpful in terms of the question you asked, but basically you have all my hope, love and support!!!
Luck&Love,
~muse