Holy ****.

Alright, so going on the theory that these are some crooked as **** people, I think your best bet is to cut all ties and drop of their radar. If you're anything like me, I know that will probably be extremely hard. Backing down from crooked people is hard. Walking away from any type of battle for me is about has hard as it is jump into a pool of ice, quite frankly. Usually can't do it without lots of self-talk first.

But, unfortunately people with BPD are extremely easy to manipulate and entrap. These people treat people with BPD for a living, so they know exactly how to push your buttons to the point that you might lose control and say very emotional things.

Like seriously the only way to win is to walk away. At least for now. Long enough to come down a bit and then lawyer up if you can / want to do so.

But do NOT go back if you feel like they are trying to provoke you. Even IF you are having a paranoia problem and you just, Idunno hallucinated everything, even IF that were the case, they are not being empathetic and professional about it. As people who work with BPD all the time, they should understand that paranoia is common and happens and not the fault of the person with BPD. So even IF you were having a paranoid freak out, their behavior is still whack as ****.

Telling you that you are "too dysregulated" to see documents that pertain to you makes no sense whatsoever. Showing you the documents could have helped to reality test and clear things up and help you relax.

And even IF you did have AsPD, it's still a personality disorder typically caused by severe childhood trauma, so that would still be no excuse to behave so weirdly. Professionals are supposed to have a code of ethics in which they set boundaries and protect themselves, but that doesn't ever include acting like paranoid nutters, themselves. And even IF you did have AsPD, if they have nothing to hide, then they wouldn't need to be worried. And if they really thought you were some sort of physical threat, they wouldn't have allowed you to enter the building(s).

I'm not trying to be a smart *** with all of my "what ifs" btw. But more so just writing out my thought process to validate your thoughts that, yeah, their behavior makes no sense no matter which way you look at it. Even if you were paranoid, even if you were a sociopath, their behavior would still make no sense. So if you feel confident that this is not paranoia, and that you do have BPD, then their behavior is seriously whack as ****.

Especially because people with BPD can go through periods where they seem more like AsPD. Typically happens with the person with BPD is disassociating from their emotions due to overload, but still know their manipulative coping tendencies. This is a common part of the disorder, and professionals are supposed to understand that and not freak out. Various forms of subconscious manipulation are typically how people with PDs had to get many of their needs and their safety met as children. People with BPD are also prone to disassociation. It can present a lot like AsPD at certain times, but it's not the same thing. If I can know that just from doing Google searches, then actual professionals should know it, too.

Anyway I know it sucks something serious, but if you can't trust these people, the therapeutic value is basically out the window, anyway.