Quote:
Originally Posted by mike1127
QuietMind, I hope that the person who gets to decide when you are no longer dependent is you.
My T never really described a "dependence strategy" but we just moved through the stages. I think during the period I was most dependent I couldn't have handled even the suggestion that someday I would be independent.
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Mike1127, I hope I'll get to decide too. She said she knows I'm afraid to attach because I fear opening up and then having the other person run away.
So, I'm pretty suspicious and wary because it really would suck if she gave something then tightened boundaries. I'd feel cheated and tricked.
Reading what others have posted here helps reinforces my belief that I better ask and ask again if she's going to take things away.
Since schema therapy has the concept of the therapist stepping in for the patient in imagery-rescripting (incl traumatic memories or memories of abuse), then gradually guiding the patient to stand up for themselves, I really hope I get to decide else it'd be a giant "You said it was really ok to trust! And then you ran off!" cluster****.
I'm really glad your T allowed to move through stages at your own pace. Sounds like a good T.
Quote:
Originally Posted by growlycat
I feel like I am so independent in the rest of my life, that I need a space where it is ok to depend on someone else. I hope T understands this.
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Dang, growlycat, I can so relate. I've found reading about neglect and "counterdependence" to be really interesting.
There's this book called "Dynamic psychotherapy with adult survivors: Living Past Neglect" where I read about it.