Shhhh! I'm secretly watering my neighbor's plant(!) Poor thing, so thirsty in that lil' pot. Would it be super-obnoxious to pop it out of there and plant it for real (there's plenty of room!) You know, in the middle of the night? Like maybe right now?

I love my plants and talk to them -- not because of any woowoo, but you know, like, "oops, sorry 'bout that!" or well, nevermind, I talk to things all the time, sentient or not... Could be a spatula. Or a support beam at the store if I bump into it.

Just TRY to get me past a big bunch of moss without petting it! Ooooh, look, oooh, moss, mmmmm!

But houseplants? No. Not so good with veggies either. Too much consistency needed.

(Lefty, I literally LOL'd at your post!)
Thanks for this thread Capriciousness, I really needed the humor.