Oh boy, that *is* weird that your mother's husband invited some teenage girl to live with them, especially if your mother is negligent when it comes to kids. It's entirely possible he's just genuinely trying to be helpful with no ulterior motive, but it's weird, whatever his intent. It's also weird that your mother just goes along with it. I hope it works out okay for the girl.

And what do you mean about his boundaries??

I like how your mother and grandfather think that *you* are the one with the problem! Maybe if visiting them was enjoyable, you'd want to do it! Why does this not occur to parents? I had to endure a few hours with my family this weekend, so I am definitely in that 'ugh' mindset. Why can't we just not see them and not have it be a big deal?

And, yeah, my mother wants to be my friend, and friends with my siblings. I was totally stunted because she was my 'friend' until my early 20s. It wasn't until I moved out that I realized just how awful it had been. She has always had one of her kids living with her - and none of us are under 30 at this point! So I don't want to be her 'friend.' It's not friendship. It's some psychodrama. She started doing this thing last week where she would ask really stupid questions, I think just to see if I would answer?

I have had about four interactions with her in the past two days that make me wonder why I even bother replying. She's so incredibly negative. I saw that she'd won a raffle from a group I work with (I got her the ticket), so I sent a note congratulating her. Her first reply was to say that she never wins, what was I talking about, she didn't win anything, and referred to some small drawing at the end of a class I'd signed her up for. When I reminded her of the ticket I'd given her for Mother's Day, she complained that no one had notified her, they just called and didn't leave a message. I replied that I would contact them and ask them to get in touch with her - but why should I get involved in this?!

She continued with the negative messaging after that, saying that she hoped the prize was a ridiculous amount of money. It's not - it's a small prize. Why doesn't she listen? I gave her a piece of paper with the prizes listed. I am sure that she will embarrass me when they do finally get in touch with her. That's really part of the issue with her coming to events. It's hard enough for me to get along socially on my own. If I have her tagging along, saying ridiculous things and bothering people, it just taints me.

So if every interaction I have with her just results in her arguing with whatever I said, why would I want to interact with her? I saw her this weekend and she has kept this up all week so far.

That doesn't sound like great news about your brother... although, now that I think about it, mine actually always had kind of sketchy jobs like that, the kind where it actually is plausible that someone took off for another country with a week's notice. I hope he is okay and that he can stay healthy and away from his old crowd. *That* has to be the hardest part, losing your social network after having alienated most of the people who would be inclined to help.

I do think there is something about relaxed people that makes them more likable. Is it that they are just easier to be around? My brother is also super relaxed. I was thinking about that the other night. If he goes to a bar, he'll buy a round for everyone even though it would eat up a week's pay. I would never spend that much money on casual friends (or myself). I'm not suggesting people like him because he spends money on them, because he's just as likely to go to a bar and expect other people to pay for his drinks - but he is certainly relaxed about money in a way I wouldn't be (and don't want to be).

It just seems impossible that I would ever get to 'relaxed.' I am so high strung.

I'd like to know what kind of impression I make on people. I don't think that my written representation is an accurate reflection of my real life personality.
IRL, I disclose very little, but at the same time, I sometimes seem to startle people with my frankness. I think my filter is slightly broken. In conversations, I am more likely to be listening than talking. I don't think people can tell that I am annoyed because I have had trouble convincing people I am angry with them when I am trying!

Re: selling yourself when you don't feel up to par: I think this is something a lot of us do (especially women) that shoots us in the foot. Someone who is *truly* subpar but who has overinflated confidence in their skill set will win a job you don't apply for. Look at the people we work for - are they highly competent? Nope. They just don't let their self-perceived weaknesses get in the way of going after what they want.

The video port guy struck again and my response to him was so passive aggressive (but you can't prove it!) that I am still giggling.