Hello,
I'm new to the forum. I'm a 47 year old male that has recently been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. How I survived until now without treatment is amazing. I think my lifestyle, working conditions and self medicating techniques kept me barely within acceptable levels. My manic phases were never as bad as some on this forum have experienced so I rejected my initial diagnosis. I was put on 10mg of ability and within 3 days I went full on manic. Very grandiose, I felt on top of the world. 3 weeks later the mania subsided and being the no it all I am, I decided I should stop taking the ability and 2 weeks later I crashed hard. It left me deeply depressed and at one point anxiety and depression simultaneously, I was very close to admitting myself to a hospital. I went back to the pdoc and he started me on depakote which eventually pulled me out of the rutt. I'm better but still not well. I started seeing a therapist last week to help me adjust to my new reality. I miss the mania, I'll be honest, it made me who I am and I'm now trying to deal with lower energy. I lost interest in everything a few weeks back but as I adjust to the depakote I'm slowly beginning to get some drive back. I was suicidal and have been for years but I was exceptionally so a few weeks back. Just started reading the bipolar survival guide last night, hope it helps. Just wanted to say hello. Sorry for the wordy intro.
Rev