Sounds like your parents have tried to teach you racism but you have been a very poor student :-) Keep using your own eyes and good head to tell you what you need to know for your life. The problem with most "isms" is that they are stereotypes about groups, not individuals. Different is not bad or wrong, it's just different. I try to remember when I was 4 or 5 and started going to my friends' houses for sleep overs or just a meal and how "different" their parents and lives were compared to mine. Even as late as high school; my friends would come in and my mother would make them go in the refrigerator for a drink and/or snack, ask them over to dinner on the spur of a moment, etc. whereas their mother would have to invite me a week ahead of time and there'd be just the right amount of food (everybody got "one" of whatever, there were no seconds or anything) and it was so formal and I was so afraid of making a mistake. . . I thought it was funny that some friends had a hard time, even with my mother encouraging them with getting a soda from our refrigerator; it did not occur to me that my house must have seemed strange/"wrong" to them like theirs did to me.

We're raised a certain way and hopefully learn some good lessons or take away our own good responses to bad lessons, as you have to your parents' racist speech. But eventually we get grown and have to work it all out on our own, what we want to keep of our upbringing and what doesn't makes sense or seems harmful to us and/or others.