Today is a very dark day and I am not sure where to turn. I feel like I can't breathe or even move.

My husband told me a few weeks ago that he is leaving me. I asked if we could go to counseling, which we've never done, or if I could work on improving anything, but he says no. He wants a divorce, not even a separation to work things out.

I have two children who normally stay with me during the day. I don't know if I will be able to keep them with me for financial reasons. I have pretty extreme problems with paranoia and I can't work except for my job a few hours per week (away from people.) Because I want to do whatever work I'm able to do and don't want to quit the job I do have, it doesn't look like I'm a good candidate for SSDI, even though I make under the dollar limit of what they consider.

I tried to apply to a school program for certification training on a job I could do from home, but because I've already completed 2 years, there is only grant money for a 4 year program, which won't help in my current situation.

I'm now looking into trying to learn the material I need for the certification program on my own, which would be a few hundred dollars instead of a few thousand, but it's going to take some time to complete. After that, I would still need to find a job without having experience, or volunteer experience for a while. I don't know if it's worth trying, and I don't know if I'm even able to try.

I can't concentrate and I'm exhausted. I have no energy and I'm sad, and frustrated, and worried. I feel like I can't really believe this is happening, and it's so much all at once that I don't know what to do, or where to start, or where to turn. I think I've exhausted all of my alternatives and I feel really hopeless.