Hi I feel like I'm wasting my partners time and I tell them that but they don't and wont leave me. I mean I don't want them to ether, I always get upset if we ever get close to that stage.

Anyway I feel I'm quite emotionally devoid, I don't really know how to give more.

But with the things I "like" (more like super distractions from self hate), they get jealous due to how dedicated I am at finding them and interacting with them, think of a Star Wars fan a one who really loves it I suppose, I have alot of stuff and I always wanna get more and due to that and wanting everything at a reasonable price.... (I hate paying over the odds when it was cheaper like a month ago or something). Basically the amount I obsess over this stuff annoys them, and these are video games pretty much.

Anyway they want me to treat them like that stuff but they are objects, I don't really get how. But I do find none human things more emotionally reliable due to how people I've been with in the past have been with me. I don't know how to change how I'm acting to be more constructive. Any advice?