I think i'm slowly giving up.

I don't know who to reach out to anymore. I have T. I want to talk to her and tell her everything, but I don't feel like I can. I have my family, but that's just something I have no energy to deal with. I've gone on crisis chat and they've been so helpful.

And still ...I just can't find a reason not to. I feel so hopeless.

I've officially come up with a plan. I even found myself walking around the store today looking for one of the things I need. I feel like if I slowly gather the things I need; I am giving myself time. Time to find hope. I don't want to do it, so i'm not really sure i'm at a "crisis point".

I don't know. I think i'm procrastinating because I fear succeeding. And it's not even that I want to do it, I just feel forced by hopelessness. I feel like i'm losing control of things.