Not at all trying to invalidate anyone's experiences, but these sorts of conversations are so hard for me to even wrap my mind around. I've been without medication for years and it's like being in an endless nightmare. So many terrible intrusive thoughts, can never relax not even physically, agitated even when I've been sleeping for 14 hours at a time, constantly freaking out internally, one disaster after another in my life. I read posts describing how numb or flat people feel and I'm just like oh dear god my pdoc appointment for meds cannot get here soon enough. I feel like I would trade my left eyeball to feel numb these days.