Quote:
Originally Posted by ruh roh
The therapist prior to my current one told me she cared, but didn't want to make it personal. I told this to my current therapist and when I finished, we both said at the same time, "So why even bother saying it?"
I don't know if the previous one was trying to discourage anything, but whatever it was, she succeeded in leaving me feeling confused and chilled. Honestly tho, there was no reason to even say it.
|
That's such a good point you both made. Why would someone tell you they care but then say it's not personal? Caring is in of itself, personal. It doesn't mean you're best friends or in love, it means you have a relationship or some kind. You can't and shouldn't "make" someone attach to you - some will and some won't. You can encourage someone to depend too much on you. The dependence a baby has is very different anything we have with our Ts- they are not able to do anything for themselves. As soon as a baby is developmentally able, parents begin to foster a certain amount of independence. Just like the post that mentioned the baby who cries it out. It's not done with newborns and it's not done with the intent to dismiss or be cruel to the child. Its encouraging the baby to foster it's own skill set and to self sooth. It's an important skill that some kids really have trouble with. comparing therapy to a parent infant relationship is tricky since even though a lot of people missed this bonding with parents, they are still developmentally beyond the point of allowing dependence. A T should know the difference between between sincere caring/attachment and dependence. They are not the same thing and some Ts reallh seem to struggle with this the same ways some parents do.