Thanks CopperStar, that made me teary (which is good, I need to cry and can't thanks to adjusting to meds) but I hope it is true. For him it may just be a connection to pain or he may think it is a way to find out about the father he's never known which isn't really the position I want to be in. (Like I said, he was born a happy thing into something that was very ugly in how it came to be.) I feel like I just handed him my arm and an axe and said "here, be friends or cut this off, your choice".

Waiting the next week or so until the day I figure that I know he's unlikely to respond is going to be hard. I also know this could just trigger an angry message from his mother. I don't think she hates me but she has kept him from me for 14 years so clearly I'm not her favorite person.

Ugh.