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Old Jun 25, 2015, 09:44 PM
CopperStar CopperStar is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Apr 2014
Location: US
Posts: 1,484
Quote:
Originally Posted by Capriciousness View Post
actually think they could or would or it would be a problem really. I'm just like paranoid I guess. I'm super private. Ha! That's funny actually. But I am like kinda paranoid. Not in a bipolar way. Right now.

It is most important to help people. I mean that is why I am doing what I am doing with the blog! Right.

It just feels weird right now. Like I don't know what I'm afraid of. I am sure I am making much ado about nothing. It happens sometimes
But you're right that it is what is.
There might be a source to it that is just hard to see in the moment. I personally find it very difficult sometimes to distinguish between after effects of abuse and bipolar symptoms. Sometimes they are easily distinguished, but sometimes it's really hard. Paranoia is one of the symptoms that for me is very hard to distinguish sometimes. I think they overlap and trigger each other, honestly, between bipolar paranoia and trauma paranoia. Like of all the things in the world that I experience the most paranoia towards, my mother is the biggest by far. But just this night I remembered why, while she was bragging and joking about how good she is at manipulating and gaslighting people. At least for a moment I remembered that I'm not just crazy. Sometimes it's not paranoia at all. But it can morph into paranoia. For example suddenly having intense fear that my mother will try to kill my brother, which is extremely unlikely and for which there is no evidence whatsoever. Then some paranoia is obviously from the bipolar, like thinking I have a demon in the house or something.
Hugs from:
Capriciousness
Thanks for this!
Capriciousness