I went through 7 years of living with a man who was pushy, obnoxious and argumentative when he drank (not violent though.) After 7 years I left. Eventually, he stopped drinking and we got back together . . . 5 years later. I highly recommend Al-Anon. Read as much of their literature as you can.

I totally understand how your quality of life is being ruined.

Vicodin is a way better pain killer than beer, but combining them can be fatal. Your husband's interest in drinking is probably not just for pain relief. Also, the way he acts under the influence is showing some bad attitudes that are there all the time. Being in pain does not justify him making life miserable for you. Sooner or later, we all deal with pain issues.

I've never heard of a drinking problem being solved by marriage counseling. You might have to leave him, before he'll care about stopping . . . and he may not, even then.

What I learned from Al-Anon was that it was not my job to try and control my guy's drinking. I couldn't, if I wanted to. I basically just left and moved on with my life.

I'm sorry for what you are going through.