My Support Forums - View Single Post - When was your first time? In that exact moment, why did you?

Chuva · 03:41 AM

I started at 22. The first time, the emotional pain was so unbearable that I needed some kind of relief. And a relief it was.

Possible trigger:

After that, I almost always self-harmed because I couldn't feel my body, thought I was dead (doctors tell me it was derealization), and I needed a way to confirm I was actually alive. I couldn't feel the pain, but the blood soothed me.

PS. Just like ShaggyChic, I don't act on my urges anymore. I haven't self-harmed for 9 years now. But I too do fantasize about it.