I will definitely read him these things I've written. He is good about listening to the whole thing without making comments until the end. I don't have his email to contact him with. Also, he did explain what "I'm not having fun" means but I am unsure if I will quote him correctly. He went on to say something like, "This is not how I like to work with my patients. I want to show more love and compassion (not sure if this was the word) than I can with you right now. I like to be able to work without watching everything I say so I don't make any mistakes with you."

I am also remembering, just now, that he said that he would losen the boundaries when he sees improvement and then tighten them up again if needed. He said that he will do it over and over if he needs to. I remember crying so hard and asking him if he was going to leave me. He shook his head and said, "You know that you shouldn't be asking me that." He relented, sighed, and said, "No. I'm not going anywhere. Not by my design." I tend to ask that question or "are you mad at me" too much when I am feeling very vulnerable and needy.

In other news, I feel a little better today in that I am remembering more of the reassuring and positive things he said. I am feeling proud that I behaved through all of that. I think that was big. My eyes are extremely puffy and swollen though. Still feel quite low but going to work with hopes that I will be able to put it all aside for the next 8 hours.

I am so very thankful for y'all.