Would a manic episode consist of getting super mad at something like this for example: bodybuilding and not seeing the results I want to see within a years time, I literally flipped out for about 5-10 mins and felt like it was pointless to keep continuing. But I never quit so I overcame that. I do seem to be struggling with sleep at night. Btw I have been diagnosed with OCD since 11 years old.

Waking up every 2-3 hours to piss and then having trouble getting comfortable. I believe I have some sort of hypo mania. I'm not depressed I don't think, I tend to have a super surge of wellness when something good happens but isn't that anyone?

Reading symptoms online can sometimes be debilitating, anyways I have posted this before my lost my username and password and can't seem to to find the related post so im sorry for this guys.

Anyways I can't eat Unless I force it and being a bodybuilder.. I have to eat a lot. So I smoke weed, but the problem with that is, I get lazy. I've also had some sexual impulsive fantasies, but seem to be more interested in masturbating about them than actually doing them, because a lot of these fantasies are something I cant believe me myself would even think about them. Do you know what im saying? Deep down it doesn't feel right to think about them but for some reason I do it to get me off quick so I don't have to. Which I DONT have to, I have the choice to choose not to masturbate or ignore racing thoughts and sexual impulsions, I believe it might be a way of dealing with the anxiety.

Seems to be hard to gain weight, although I don't try at anything, bodybuilding is my dream but I don't try super hard at it like I should, I feel lazy and unmotivated a lot, so pushing myself to the gym offers no excitement, just "oh man I gotta get this out of the way". There will be days though where for some reason I'll KILL IT, love the gym and smash the weights and have a great workout. These are seldom.

I'm always worried about the future or stuff I shouldn't consume myself worrying about.

For example: a dream of mine is to become famous, but I worry if I were to become famous all my EXS would release all my pics they have of me that we have texted back and forth <---- I know myself by thinking and even reading it how stupid and ludicrous that sounds! I'm not even famous nor even close and im always worried about the what ifs.

I just feel like something is wrong with me I know it. I don't feel depressed but I'm not "happy" and I have a problem thinking for myself (i.e tend to ask other people what I should do about certain things in life). I'm indecisive all the time and sometimes have a hard time focusing when people talk to me but still focused and understand hear everything they say.

Does this make sense to you guys or am I truly insane lol. I just need someone to talk to. I've tried meditating but I can't clear my mind.

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