Something is bothering me a little bit about my therapy session last week. It has to do with my religious beliefs.

My t knows what religion I belong to and some of my beliefs, including activities I engage in and activities I avoid for scriptural reasons. However, she does not have much beyond a surface understanding of it. As a general rule, she has been accepting of my religious beliefs. She is of a different religion. Talk of religion only enters my therapy occasionally, as it isn't directly connected with my issues.

However, last week, my t questioned me further about a couple of my religious beliefs. I explained the scriptural reasons for the belief in question. I didn't mind her asking, and I didn't mind giving her an explanation either for why I believe as I do. But what bothered me was that I felt like she went beyond her objective stance and verbalized some disagreement with my beliefs when I explained them to her. I know that everybody has different beliefs, and I don't expect my t to adopt the same beliefs that I do. But if she views an issue differently, it is ethical for her to verbally disagree in my therapy session?

I will try to re-create the discussion if I can.

T: (X) has helped a lot of people learn to relax. Have you ever thought about doing (X)?

Me: No, not really.

T: If I was trained in (X), I'd be teaching it to you myself. Do you have a community center in your area that gives classes?

Me: Yes

T: Would you consider taking a class in (X)?

Me: No, I'd be willing to practice relaxation and stretching, but I wouldn't feel comfortable doing (X).

T: Really? Why not?

Me: I've done some research and (X) is connected with (Y). In my faith, we don't get involved in activities that are connected with (Y) because they conflict with what we're taught in the scriptures.

T: I see. What is it about (Y) that conflicts with your beliefs?

Me: I give one brief example.

T: Hmmm. I'm not sure I see it that way. Don't all religions have a similar focus?

Me: Not always. For example, (Y) puts the main focus on (blank), whereas the scriptures encourage a focus on (blank-blank).

T: In what way? Can you give me an example?

Me: I give one - this time in more detail and with more explanation.

T: OK, I understand better now. But what about (B)? I've never understood why you don't do (B). What could possibly be wrong with doing (B)?

Me: I explain.

T: Oh, OK. I didn't realize that. I have a better understanding of it now.

In general, most of that conversation sat fine with me. But the part that bothered me was this:

"But what about (B)? I've never understood why you don't do (B). [B] What could possibly be wrong with doing (B)?"
At the beginning, she simply states that she doesn't understand one of my beliefs. But in saying "What could possibly be wrong with doing (B)?" - I felt like she was expressing disagreement with my religious choice not to engage in B. I interpreted it as "I think your belief about this is wrong. I think it's perfectly OK to do (B)." The phrase "what could possibly be wrong with. . ." made me feel that she was judging my choice as extreme or unreasonable.

For any of you that consider religion as a big part of your life, would it bother you to have your t question your beliefs in this way and/or disagree with your explanation? Would it seem like she just wanted more information so as to understand you better, or would it feel like she was challenging or minimizing your beliefs?

Also, there was one other occasion about a year ago that bothered me in therapy, when religion got brought up. . .

Me: In our religion, we are encouraged to avoid (C).

T: Well, that's why some people consider your religion a cult.

Me: (feeling a bit surprised and offended): T! It really bothers me that you said that.

T: I'm not passing judgment. I'm just repeating what you said. You told me before that some people consider your religion a cult.

I saw my t yesterday and told her how I feel, and apologized if she made me feel judged. She told me she was only trying to understand me better, not judge my beliefs negatively.

She is a great therapist in many ways, and she has helped me a lot. But even after talking to her about it, it's still kind of bothering me.

Any comments?