I now worry that when I'm struggling, that T will leave. I worry she will feel that I'm not benefiting from her and think I need a "higher level of care".

I also feel bad because I feel like I'm wasting all the effort she is putting in to help me. And I feel like I'm a disappointment.

I have actually hid my decline in mental health from people in my life: my family, ex-T, ex-counselor. Instead of reaching out for help, I stayed in my misery for 6 years. When I finally told them, they reassured me that I wasn't a disappointment and were proud of me for finally reaching out.