Well it is now tourist season, and I work front desk in a motel. We are not only very busy (which is overwhelming for me) but we have had many strange (difficult) guests lately. The other hotels/motels have stopped taking cash and debit for payments, and so we get all those who have no credit card. Most of the time it is seniors or young people, who are fine, but we also get all those who wouldn't be accepted elsewhere.

I have had people scream at me, swear at me, come towards me in a threatening way... I have had to call the police to make someone leave, and threaten for others to call the police. There was a fight last weekend where one person was beat up pretty bad, and the room was trashed. There has been so much to increase my anxiety.

With my autism and social anxiety order alone I have trouble if people just ask me questions or make comments out of my routine. I fall apart with minor complaints, even if I can fix them. If the housekeepers forgot something, I feel extreme shame, and want to quit. If my routine is altered by anyone - especially without warning, or options - I become rigid and inflexible. The shift work (alternating several times even within one week) was something I could never regulate. I had trouble getting a routine, and had a lot of trouble sleeping. I was sick and exhausted all the time.

To begin with, my job has not been a good fit for all of the above reasons, but it is mostly routine, and I almost always work alone. As long as there were no surprises, I was able to do my job, and that is why I kept going back even knowing the fit was bad. I don't have the imagination to figure out what else I could do, even knowing this isn't right for me.

Within the past year, and especially within the past few weeks, we have had so many challenging people that my panic attacks about going to work, and while there, have become extreme. While I am at work, I am frozen to the office in fear, and unable to do all but the basics of my job.

No, she was right to tell me she needed me out of there in order to be able to help me with the rest - but always before when I can't stay somewhere, I find another alternative before I end up in full meltdown, so it doesn't appear so much as a failure.

Last time I went to a government funded trades program, which appeared positive until I went into the work force and was incapable of working in a construction setting (for sensory issues and very low energy.)

I know she was right - but I need all the details or my severe anxiety goes into constant panic. That is where I am now. I don't know what to expect. I need someone not only to support me, and tell me it will be okay (as I have with my husband) but to take me step by step through it and tell me what to do.

I have above average intelligence, but when I am panicked, I can't think.