((((((((((safe hugs)))))))))))) if you want them.

Really, honestly, truly, this is NOT your fault. Sometimes in abusive homes, all of the kids get hurt. Other times, the abusive parent targets one. Either way, it is the adult who is hurting that child that is responsible. There is nothing wrong with the little girl who gets hurt. There is something wrong with the big man who hurts her. It's true. It really is.

Unfortunately it isn't uncommon for survivors of abuse to find a "hero" who later turns out to be an abuser. This still does NOT make you responsible for what has happened. You have never deserved a single hit. Not a single cruel word. You don't deserve it now, and you never have.

Have you ever seen a therapist? I strongly reccomend finding one who works with trauma (abuse & neglect) if you can. Also, read through the posts on this board when you feel up for it. I think you will find you are NOT alone. If you can think about the innocent people on this board who have been hurt, and understand that it is not their fault, maybe that can be a step in understanding that what happened to you was NOT your fault either.

Best of luck to you. Keep posting, any time you need a friend.

Angela