Quote:
Originally Posted by Axiom
Maybe it would help if you guys tried being intimate with eachother without letting the intimacy lead to sex? It could help rekindle the flame in a way that feels safe for both of you. At any rate I think the key is communication and intimacy. Without those, sex becomes very difficult in a long-term relationship. Speaking from experience.
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Well, that's the thing. My wife isn't touchy-feely and doesn't give compliments easily. So I don't get my intimacy fix without sex. (Seriously, she's the only woman I've ever heard of that thinks foreplay is locking the bedroom door.) It would be great to cuddle or flirt or something like that, but that doesn't and hasn't ever really happened. Now that I'm a trigger stopping sex, the intimacy is completely gone. She's on her side of the couch and I'm on mine.
I talked her into a 14 Days of Honesty exercise so hopefully that will help. I had to stop pushing the Love Language things because it made matters worse. Basically I'm floundering right now, hopefully this 14 Days exercise and more counseling will help.