Wow. Very eloquent, honest, and such an accurate depiction of what depression feels like. I just want you to know that I really feel for you, and can relate to you. I hope it gives you just the smallest bit of comfort in knowing that you are not alone in what you are experiencing. Everyday is a struggle for me. I am barely functioning, and consider it an accomplishment to just complete the smallest tasks of daily life. I'm unable to work, and most of the time going anywhere just sets my whole body on edge. I'm full of self-loathing and shame, and I have no motivation to do even the smallest thing to help myself. I'm more interested in watching hours upon hours of television, and find myself caring more about what's going on in a show than what's going on in the lives of friends and family. I can't offer you any advice, I just wanted to give you a hug, and let you know that someone understands the hurt. I'm sorry you're going through this, because I know it's hell. Take care.