I understand where you're coming from. I feel like I have a sort of hierarchy, where if I'm a bit upset or stressed, I'll e-mail T, knowing I likely won't hear back from her. If I'm really upset and hoping to hear back, I'll leave a message on her office voicemail, figuring she'll eventually check and call me back (which she usually does). I do have her cell, mainly because she's called me from it, but I haven't used that yet. I asked her recently about using it, and she said not to call just to chat, but I could call if I had to change an appointment. From the way she said it, I assume I could also reach her there if I'm in crisis. So I'm trying to use that only if I'm feeling really bad. I have yet to call her there, but there's probably a couple times where I should have. I have the same fear of annoying her. I even worry about an e-mail sent after the session with some new insight or leaving her a voicemail on her office phone. But anytime I ask her about it, she says it's fine. I'm scared to use her cell though, if it's not during office hours, because that's much more intrusive.

(I won't go into the marriage counselor stuff and contacting him because that's a whole other, much more complicated, issue.)