It hurts on the days when I have a major event in my life and he's the first person I want to tell. I don't know how else to describe it. I feel like I'm a joke because we dated for only 11 months and when he broke up with me, it was so easy for him and he had no trouble moving on. Yet here I am, over a year later trying to meet people and build my life again. I can't be mad at him because every time I try I feel guilty. I try to be a good person and have respect but it's hard to meet people who will do the same.

I'm just rambling. I'm not sure this all makes sense.