You have the desire to tell someone, him, and then you are brought back to, reminded of, the void he left.

You believe that you should be over him, your life should be rebuilt, it wasn't that long of a relationship and he is over you. And so you bitterly criticize yourself. And it sounds like you've lost faith that most people will be kind and respectful in a reciprocal manner to you.

It makes sense to me.

What have you been doing in order to help yourself get over him?