A psychoanalyst I saw for two years had very firm boundaries, no touching, nearly no between session contact, no extra sessions, I called her by her formal title, Dr. __, etc.

I stagnated and felt decidedly closed up and uncomfortable. I was young or probably would've left sooner.

I've also seen my current T for more than two years and it's just the opposite. She invites as much out of session contact as I care to have, offers flexible appointments and multiple ones. And she hugs, though as you know, for me they're virtual because it's long distance therapy. (Now, I do pay for all that extra time, but am very happy to- keeps things fair and balanced.)

She even gave me a generous graduation gift which is definitely crossing a boundary I've always thought would be a firm one.

And I feel my life has really transformed through our work, and that I've made exceptional progress doing serious trauma work, dealing with PTSD, improving my family dynamic, and making professional and academic progress too.