I totally agree with dove that the longer I live in my mother's house the more I enable her to continue to think that this kind of behavior is ok and its fine for to act this way and treat others in harsh ways......and be little them if need be.
the oddist thing is my mom can go from being kind a loving to a total ***** the in course of a few minutes. And as harsh as it sounds the MAIN the lesson I have learned while living at home with her again is that, I can only take what she says with a grain of salt, an just focus on being in control of me and myself and when she does things that hurt in an emtional way take myself outside of the situation and do what I need to get through the incident.

I can not change how my mom is or show does things, nor can I change that as of right now I do not have the fincial means to be able to get out of where I am.... right now but I do know i can get myself out of that situation and into a better one if I work hard enough to be able to do so.

in the terms of DBT I am left with really just having to radically accept things right now for how they are...knowing what I do have control over and what I do not and know that getting myself away from this behavior is the best thing for the both of us in the long run.

trust me even my own boyfriend and both of my girlfriends who live out of state know that me being where I am is not a good situation for me to be in and I need to get out of it...so if I don't get myself out of this lol one of my several life partners probably will get me out of it at some point soon.