Welcome to PC. It sounds like you are doing a lot of hard work on yourself. So sorry you have to endure the pain of these memories, and so relieved and grateful you have a good T to help you.

Is it possible that Jason went into the military because he believed it was the best way he could provide for you and the children? It sounds like he has gotten you out of that hell-hole, at the very least, and is making a stab at making the marriage work.

Because I do not know the full back story of how he went into the military, I am reluctant to say that he dishonored the marriage. Sometimes, a person simply has to make a decision of which a partner disapproves to be true to oneself.

I wish you all the best. It sounds like you are on the right track.