DID is a tough one -knowing that the others HELPED us survive... and that we may have lived a totally different life otherwise. OR... we may have died without them. Spelling can be learned - I'm glad you survived to get here.
Remember - it's not the alters ruining life... it was our abusers who did that. Remember to put the anger and blame on the real bad "guys". learning to cope, we can forge a new life that is more than just surviving, but thriving. it can be done. it may take a LONG time, but it is worth it.