I was amazed this morning when I got an email from my brother saying that he was sorry about having Paul's email address on the electronic greeting card -- he thought he had removed it long ago.

He stated that Paul had become cold, so he discontinued contact. I'm not sure why Paul grew cold, but I wonder if I had something to do with it.

Something happened when I was suicidal that involved P. and my bother, and ended with my brother leaving a hateful message on my answering machine screaming, "Kill yourself. Just do it." My brother had taken P's side in the split-up and hero-worshipped P for a time.

Several months later, I had to send a check to P. I was homeless, and I was sick at heart about what had happened with my brother.

Now P's father committed suicide, and P is very sensitive about this issue. So in the letter, I recited the facts of how he had torn my life apart, so that I wound up without a job, a home, or my beloved dogs -- and said now P was tearing my family apart. My elderly mother was heartsick about the rift between my brother and me. I asked -- Would you have wanted anyone to say to your father, "Kill yourself. Just do it."

My bro and P. were still tight at the time of this letter, but now apparently they are not, and amazingly, my brother actually wrote that he was sorry.

I do not think I have ever heard this word from my bro's lips in regard to me.

I immediately responded thanking him for being so gracious and so sensitive.

I can hardly believe this positive turn of events.