Welcome to PC, sincity.

I can relate. I have had some definitions going on in my life about what "fun" is and what "love" is.

And I came kicking and screaming into a saner perspective on life. But now that I'm here, I see my dysfunctions rather clearly, and I would not want to go back to being who I am -- even though I am rather glad that I had some of the seedy adventures I had in the grimy underbelly of society.

I'm glad I was young enough and silly enough to enjoy it and that I was apparently protected by angels or youth or good luck.

I wish you all the best in young wonderful, exciting journey in learning who you are, which as I approach the big Six-Oh, assure goes on for a lifetime. It is a journey, not a destination.

Enjoy the trip.

And do keep posting.