You do not deserve to be hurt. It is not a normal part of child rearing nor is it in your wedding vows -- love honor and volunteer for punching bag duty. Nope not there.

Alcohol changes the way a person thinks. People who are abusive, especially to a spouse, behave in such a fashion as to appease their doubts and keep them around for the release of their anger.

You are not responsible for your dad's abuse and you are not responsible for your husband's abuse. You can make the abuse stop but you have to do it yourself. You are a survivor, you survived your father's alcoholic rages and you have so far survived your husband's controlling rages.

Shelters for battered woman are not wonderful places to live but when you live in one you do not get hit. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to be safe.

~D~