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Old Jul 07, 2007, 03:03 PM
Caramee Caramee is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2007
Posts: 98
I think different therapists have different reactions to this. Psychodynamically-oriented therapists are more open to talking about the "here and now" relationship between the therapist and client and discussions of attachment are perfectly normal and even encouraged. From what I understand, CBT therapists are less likely to be open to this.

I have a psychodynamic therapist to whom I am very attached. I struggle with this because I am very independent and these feelings are very new and scary to me. I think the best thing I did was discuss it with him. It opened a wonderful door of exploring my early attachment issues, and he believes that if I am not bonded to him, I cannot heal, so he encourages it. He told me that we have a mutual connection, and that is what cures old wounds.

There is a lot of research about attachment theory and how therapy heals by therapists tuning in to early needs of the patients. It's when the right brains of both the patient and the therapist connect (by tone, gaze, warmth, like mother and infant) and not necessarily left brain logic (what a lot of people think of as "therapy" such as talking out problems and gaining insight) that heals deep and early wounds. You have to be pretty attached to your therapist to gain this! My therapist said that when he was a patient, what he remembers the most is the "feeling" of being in the room with his therapist and the bond and connection, not necessarily any particular "aha" moment or words of wisdom. It's the relationship that heals, and so it sounds encouraging to me that you love him.
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