At least I hope this is the right place and to be honest I've already forgotten how I got here. I've been trying everything for what seems like hours!!! But now through all my efforts it's 10:48pm and I'm very tired and I'm crying again. I didn't cry not once from the age 13 to age 34 and then it was just normal crying, sad events or I was injured somehow. But now it seems as if I'm somehow making up for those 21yrs that I didn't shed a tear. At that time it was a sign of weakness. At that time I was in full Manic mode. I don't care what edition of the DSM any Psychiatrist has, I've read the DSM IV TR 2000 cover to cover more times than I can count to figure out what my problems were and how to fix them. I've read the entire DSM V twice. I have to tell you that neither says any thing about a manic episode lasting years!! Well guess what??!!!!!! They can and they do and I'm living proof of that fact. But now I'm living proof of how long severe paralyzing depression can last and I'd give anything for a Manic Episode!!!
I spent so much time trying to find this posting place that I'm exhausted and have a terrible headache so I just can't even post what I really wanted to talk about. So I'll say goodnight to anyone who is out there and I'll try again tomorrow.......