*offers a hug* Intellectually you may know it isn't your fault, but emotionally, it's really understandable why...especially when you kept getting the message to "snap out of it". From a therapist, a mental health clinician, no less!

People think recovering from mental disorders just requires willpower.

If that was the case, there wouldn't be a need for therapists and psychiatrists.

She should have had your well being in mind (perhaps she does/did, but she still didn't see she was in well over her head), you trusted her to know how to treat you.

You put your trust in her knowing what she was doing, and so felt like you failed because you wasn't getting better, and it must be so hurtful that someone you trusted so much to know what they were doing ended up harming you.

It's not your fault you needed a higher level of care. It is really on her that she witnessed your struggles and did not strongly suggest higher levels of care, and even blamed you.

I hope you can process this therapeutic relationship with your current hospital psychologist. I'm sure she'll understand that you're hurting and grieving.

*hugs*