Hi to everyone. I haven't been on here in ages and mostly due to finding out that I have another diagnosis. I was being treated for severe anxiety and nothing seemed to work. Then I saw a new psychiatrist and had a..... well..... lets say and outpouring of emotions. I was then sent to see a psychologist and I worked with him for some time, but he refused point blank to tell me what he thought was wrong. Back to my GP. I had to practically grab him by the ****-front to get him to tell me what was in the psych reports. At first he told me it was a personality disorder. "Borderline" was added later. But what did all this mean?

I've had lots of odd and unusual diagnoses over the years, but this was new. I went home and looked it up. Yeah, a lot of that stuff applied to me as well as lots of other people, but then I saw a particular You Tube clip and I just knew. I may as well have posted it myself! So I read that there is treatment available. It took me awhile to find out it's mostly private where I live and out of my reach. I joined a self help group and we have a message board, but all I'm getting is more lonely and no longer wanting to be here at all. I'm too old to have this thing, so I sought a second opinion which only went to prove the first psych correct. Apparently age doesn't matter, although a lot of people kind of "burn out" as they get older.

So what to do now? I really don't know. This has been like the final hammer blow between the eyes. I'm too old to learn how to beat this thing. My time has run out. All I have to look forward to is an empty, lonely life. I'll be doing a bit of reading to see how others cope I guess, not that it's going to help me much. I look back on all the misery and mayhem I've caused throughout the years and only wish that I knew then what I know now!