Thank you one and all and I really mean that..

It is a complicated situation. Just not cut and dried. My son does work, he declined college though I gave him his college fund. When I became seriously ill, when he was 18 and a senior in high school - he moved out that Easter. His girlfriend who he has known since pre-school - who is a year older, and had already graduated presuaded him that he needed to live with her and her Mom.

I was the most devasted person that could ever be on the face of the earth at that time. The girlfriend said your Mom or me - that an ED is her attempting to control you.

At that time, my son also cut each and every friend out of his life - the crowd that he hung with could not stand his girlfriend. These friends were true friends since grade school.

I continued to have contact with my son and every step of the way finacially supported him. The mom of the girlfriend refused to make my son leave "because she wanted her daughter to marry my son". a direct quote.

So my son received 12,000 and about another 10,000 dollars from my college funds, plus he got a free ride if he wanted it from the college. He also got free vechicles - several nice ones - that he wrecked. These all from me.
I was terrified of losing him completely.
During this time, my parents passed and all their siblings. In addition I had 2 breast lumps..

So I made every effort to get together with my son and his girlfriend - though still ill. I took them both on a very beautiful vacation - that my son and I used to go on anually.

So at 22 yrs old, in Jan he moved out to live as roomates with his girlfriend and her baby. She cheated on him and had a baby a while back.
So they were broken up for awhile, and he moved back home - I paid all expenses though he worked.

So now they live in an expensive apartment - he pays for most of the support of her and the baby that is not his. - Except that he keeps coming to me for money - I pay his insurance plus fix his vechile and he is always coming for money.

The girlfriend and him after 2 months of living together are just room mates - no sex, no cuddling, no dating...
She once again has a laundry list of things that she wants him to do if she were to "consisder" marrying him"

college, driving a car instead of a truck, giving up hunting, giving up smoking - which he did quit smoking.

She wants to be a forever home mom - never work not even part time.. she also wants 5 children and a wedding that well is out of this world.

So I am jus tired of the whole situation.. and probably not thinking clearly right now... I just am tired of scraficing for this relationship between my son and this girlfriend.