the only thing i can say i've learned for sure from spending the majority of my time in solitude with occasional desperate pangs of loneliness is that using the idea of another person as a motivator to somehow improve my situation never worked. i've consciously lost something close to 60 lbs now in the last 5 or 6 months and am at a relatively healthy weight again, and yeah, i'm still the same solitary person as before but i actually do feel SO MUCH better.

not being winded changing a tire or walking flights of steps, being able to throw something on without having to check out the different mirror angles, and just generally feeling like i'm wearing my clothes again instead of my clothes wearing me. maybe it's one of those cliche things, i don't know, but i feel like to make that sort of improvement - weight and self-esteem, the change sometimes (often?) has to come from within. you may still be single and feel bad if you lose weight. but you may also feel better. it's not always a black and white thing.

i can relate to where you're coming from, though. with each passing year i grow a little more content with my own company and a little more accustomed to the idea that i will spend my life alone. i think the silver lining with acceptance is that we're able to start focusing on other things.

that said, it's probably not the 'best' path to take. i don't know if you're in therapy/treatment, but that could also be immensely helpful even if all feels hopeless now.