Are you in therapy now? I think you said somewhere that you don't have insurance, but perhaps you can see someone at your college? Sometimes just saying the words out loud really helps. A good therapist would understand that simply saying "I'm have suicidal thoughts" does not mean that you are going to act on them. Just releasing the tension associating with having those thoughts, can be very cathartic. Maybe you could check with your school and see what's available?

Hugs, emmy