Hi Varvatossz,

Welcome to PC!!!

To me it's sounding like you more need that kickstart to the next level, because I'd say that it's seriously impressive how far you've actually come!!
From 14-15 being so isolated, to actually making that massive step of making friends including crashing those social barriers, to actually recognosing the flaws in those friendships and how "unhealthy" for you those friendships actually were and taking the big step of cutting them off considering your best interests in it all..........and of course now/still the self care and working on/looking for self improvement!!
So wow, have you got a lot behind you/going for you in finding a way to move forward??!!!

And the next level...........you mentioned the gym...........and exercise can sometimes help when you're depressed so well done on the sign up.............but maybe worth going either on exactly the same days/times to get to know/become more familiar with some of the "regulars" there..........and then some casual conversion.........or if you prefer maybe go at all different times on different days to meet more/different people and maybe in time you're going to be meeting some people you might like to chat a bit more to.
Perhaps they even have exercise classes/sessions/boot camps or regular runs there where you can build connections with the same people.
Even jogging on the beach (with some break stops) could have you regularly seeing and eventually chatting to some people.
And wild thought........but if you had a dog, which can help some people with depression sometimes...........well........walks on the beach (or anywhere) including meeting people......???
And these beach bars/parties........could go on your own. If it's uncomfortable/hard you don't have to stop long when you go..........but maybe it could get easier after regular short visits.........???
Even if there are cafes near the beach (a bit quieter, and a place to stop for a drink) not a bad way to eventually meet/chat with people.
And read tons of books.........any libraries around you that you could branch out into........you know place to meet people...........

But you know, Varvatossz, even if none of those ideas work, in if fact they sound "out there" to you, I've still got a lot of belief in you from what you've said, a lot of belief that you really have what it takes to, if not now, but in time, breakthrough this.
So if/as things are hard stick with us, yes?? Because I reckon you can get through this!!



Alison