Oh my goodness, musinglizzy, my heart goes out to you so very much. I am so sorry. My T has also done these things -- held me while I cried, and given me extra long, tight hugs -- and I can't imagine how I'd feel if she suddenly stopped. I suspect I'd spiral into extreme depression and self-loathing. I don't think I'd be able to hold it together at all.

"Hurt beyond repair" is a good description. I totally get it. I also am afraid to complain...I get just wanting to let it slide, to not stir up trouble and potentially lose even more. I hate feeling like I'm walking on egg shells with my freaking therapist.

And for me, too, the worst part is the not discussing it. Changing the boundaries behind my back and then just waiting for me to bump into them. I find that very humiliating -- to trust that I can approach because of x or y past experience with her, to feel like I can ask for what I need, and to then find out that the rules have changed. I explained that to her before her vacation, which was just two weeks ago! And she said she understood. Can she really have forgotten so quickly?


You know, for me, it's just...is it possible that I depend on my T to a degree which is detrimental to me? Sure. But I think that should be a discussion. I expect for my input to be important when it comes to the question of whether something is good or bad for me. I haven't yet talked to her about why she made this decision, so I don't know if she thought it was best for me or not, but if that's the reason, I wouldn't appreciate it one bit. And I just don't think it's my problem if a T feels resentful of me. If she offers something, it's her job to be able to handle following through without resentment. If she can't do it, then she should adjust, but talk to me about it.

That's nice that your T texted you a picture of the beach -- and it's brave that you asked! I'd be afraid to ask her for that now, but it's a nice idea.