When we were together, he worked so much because he wanted to save up to buy his house. I was there through it all but I felt neglected too. There was hardly anytime for us and I was working/going to school full-time but tried so hard to make it work. I made mistakes too but I never turned him away. I complained sometimes because we were drifiting apart. I just wanted to keep things balanced.

He took a little longer to finish college but that's okay. What bothers me is that he achieved everything so quickly within one year. He landed a great job within three months of graduating, bought a new house and car. The reason I am jealous is because I've worked so hard for the past 4-5 years through internships and volunteering and still haven't made quite the progress he has.

My dad was hardly around when I was growing up but now he's back in my life and we talk all the time. I forgave my dad a long time ago and I appreciate the time I have with him.

One thing I should mention is how hurt I feel when my ex never really introduced me to most of his friends. Supposedly, they always invited me to things but he always made excuses about why we couldn't go. I got fed up with it and became angry because I didn't understand why he had to put up a front. I didn't feel like a girlfriend anymore. People always asked if there was someone else involved but I never suspected it until after we broke up. Hindsight is always 20/20. I don't know the timeline but I guess the ambiguity will always be there. If he broke up with me to be with her, then maybe he never really loved me. She has something better and she is worth keeping.

Sometimes I imagine how he perceives me or what he thinks of me now that we aren't together. I don't hate him but I also don't like the way he makes me think - I feel at fault. Maybe I just expected too much from him. My thoughts are so crazy and convoluted from time to time that it's impossible to verbalize them. People think I'm too hard on myself.