yeah. i am not really sure what it is. i just find it strange because i don't even like the version i see....or whatever it is. i am not sure if it's one i have even 'known' ever so am even more confused. none of it makes any sense. i am not going to dwell on it..but i just was trying to figure out what it could be.

it's similar to how my dreams can be when i am asleep in that i am another version of me, i don't look like me and am not 'me' but am in the dream..so similar as that except i'm awake....i don't know if it's part of what 'i' want and that is what it is and because i think it cannot be possible it comes out like that or what....anyway.....lol